Tuesday, May 16, 2017

The Perfect Relationship

The perfect relationship

Relationships are such an integral part of our lives. They very often define our life, our philosophy of existence and most importantly define ourselves. Using the rather clich├ęd classification so routine in our medical school, one could broadly classify relationships into three categories.
Congenital, Essential  and Acquired.
       The congenital ones quite simply are blood relatives. The Essential relationships are mandated by circumstances such as those related to work, study, or the neighbourhood of one's dwelling.
Acquired relationships are ones that we electively choose to  initiate, nurture and maintain. These typically includes our spouses,close friends, mentors, spiritual guides, romantic relationships and in more recent times- live in partners.
          The congenital relationships are in most cases defined and limited by their nomenclature, instincts, social conditioning, and are largely conformist role playing. They have a default setting, and the bonding, affinity and connect is based on a kind of psychological programming. Most often, one does not  have the option of ending these preset equations, unless the circumstances are extremely mitigating or the concerned person veering towards a pathological disposition. The Essential  relationships are quasi voluntary, and could be restricted to perfunctory courtesies, or then elevated to a more intense interaction that depends on reciprocity and mutual understanding. They do however present the opportunity and proximity to foster a more substantive and
meaningful interaction with the potential to develop into a  long term, profound association.
The acquired ones are the relationships that one chooses to pursue, invests time and emotions, and looks at them to enrich ones life, in one way or the other. These equations are never subject to any compulsion, can be called off any time if the situation demands, and are entirely in the domain of one's own volition and free will.
          My good fortune and intensity as a seeker opened the doors of  the perfect relationship.  Interaction with him was a realisation of sorts. Rather it revealed an entire new dimension to relationships. A relationship that never asked questions but only revealed answers. A relationship that never demanded love, only gave it. A presence in which one could bask in. An interaction with not the slightest trace of expectation. A companion who never affirmed his existence as a distinct, discrete entity, but rather an extension of my own Being. A person whose eyes reflected pure unadulterated joy and ecstacy on meeting, but never afflicted by  the pain of separation. An experience that was simultaneously  the warmth of a mother, the comforting reassurance of a father, the joy and happiness of a loved one,  the spontaneity and innocence of an infant. A silence that was divinely eloquent, a moment that lasted for eternity. A state of mind that transcended me and mine, you and yours. A feeling of resonance, that united us into a non dual oneness. A union that overcame the illusion of  separation. This perfect relationship never answered the' Why' of my existence, but most certainly provided me the answer to the 'How' of existence. It made me aware that my existence is not confined to any form or identity. True happiness was never subservient or hostage to any cause. It taught me there is nothing to learn, but only to experience.  It never gave me all the answers. Instead, it made me realise the futility of seeking them.

Dr Deepak Ranade

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