The 'Bridge" of relationships.

The card game of Bridge has always fascinated me. I used to play Bridge with my grandparents when I used to visit my native place. My grandfather used to make vain attempts at placing the Ace of spades at the bottom of the deck when it was his turn to deal. Of course, the sly grin on his face was a total give away. The most interesting part of this game was the partner of the highest bidder had to display all his cards. Till the bidding was not complete, it required skill and acumen to guess the hand of the partner as also the opponents. At the end of the bidding, the partner of the highest bidder had to reveal his cards by arranging them in 4 rows corresponding to the 4 suits.

Relationships in life also follow a similar pattern. We all have to guess the cards (feelings or emotions) of the other person.

Any relationship is based on two crucial parameters. One is what we feel about the other person, and the other is what we believe the other person feels about us.

These two parameters are mutually interrelated. They determine and define the dynamics of any relationship. What we feel about the other person is greatly influenced by what we think the other person thinks of us. This introduces a variable, in the equation. If we aren't clear about what the other person thinks of us, we too can't be certain about the way we feel about the other person. Its a very strange, equal and opposite kind of interaction. A subconscious yet paradoxical 'I care about you only to the extent that you care about me'. The inevitable left brained logical, transactional line of thought, that's destroyed the far more intuitive right brained spontaneity.

There are no absolutes in any relationship. Our feelings and their intensity are relative to and proportionate to our perception of what the other person feels about us. The quality and intensity of our feelings continue to remain a function of the assessment that we make based on what the partner bids. Largely, in the realm of speculation and guestimation. Just like bidding in the game of bridge. But when the bidding is complete, the moment of reckoning arrives. The partner's cards are laid out and the truth is revealed. This also gives a greater clarity about the hands held by the opponents. Thereafter, it's up to the skill and tactical capabilities of the highest bidder to conduct the game and vindicate his bid. The bid to convert his cards into tricks.That's probably why I was so fascinated by this game. It has an uncanny parallel to relationships in our lives. The ultimate winner remains the one, who makes the most accurate assessment of the others cards, merely on the basis of their bids. That's a skill that's really vital, but yet very rare. That's why I never excelled in bridge. And that also explains my fascination for the game.

Dr. Deepak Ranade.

Oct 01, 2020, 23:29 IST

Rewiring Neural Networks

Editorial by DEEPAK M RANADE

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DEEPAK M RANADE writes on neuroplasticity and the Third Eye, and wonders if we can transcend the biomechanic syntaxHe has a very short fuse. ’ ‘That person is too casual in his attitude. ’ ‘She has a jovial disposition. ’ These are characteristics by which we tend to categorise people. These are typical, predictable behavioural patterns. Behaviour can be broken down into stereotypes. Such behaviours follow a specific ‘fixed action’ pattern. They are entirely stimulus based, and are executed in a robotic, mechanical manner.

An example is the egg-rolling behaviour observed in some birds.

When the bird spots an egg-like object in the vicinity of its nest, the bird begins to roll it towards the nest. Even when the egg is removed, the bird will continue to behave the same way until it reaches the nest, without seeming to ‘realise’ that the egg is no longer there. It’s programmed, embedded software that ensures a definite behavioural response to a particular stimulus. Is our response and behaviour a biomechanic compulsion, involuntary, unfolding at the subconscious level?Are we controlled by unique neural templates that mediate unique responses? Are we slaves of a programme? Do our responses necessarily get defined and limited by genetically embedded software? This instinctive response cripples the intellect and makes the subject surrender to a prefixed, predetermined pattern of behaviour.

Typical unique behavioural pattern is the substrate of personality. Personality is a characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Personality includes moods, attitudes, and opinions and is most clearly expressed in interactions with people and situations. It includes behavioural characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish one person from another. Can we change these patterns of behaviour or are we helplessly trapped in a neuro-hormonal matrix? Can we break these patterns of predictability and press the reset button? Can this hard disk be reformatted and is it possible to rewrite the Read Only Memory (ROM)?The human brain is certainly evolved to rise above the biomechanic syntax and protocol.

It is blessed and fortified with a phenomenon called neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is the alteration and modification of neural pathways, networks and synapses. This enables the brain to effect synaptic pruning that deletes the neural connections no longer useful, and strengthens the necessary ones. It’s a rewiring of the neuronal circuits. Perhaps it involves establishing connection with a seat of higher intelligence. Transcending the network-mediated biomechanic responses would involve reprogramming the perception of the observer.

A paradigm shift in the response effected by a fundamental shift in perception. Instinct is overridden by a dispassionate, conscious deliberation. This transcendence is referred to as opening of the Third Eye in oriental mysticism. The third eye, also known as the inner eye, is a mystical, esoteric concept referring to a speculative invisible eye, which enhances perception beyond ordinary sight. It provides a third person appraisal of the observed and the observer. The inner eye is a witness of the subject and object.

A non-dual sublime intelligence that pierces the illusion of duality. A perceptive shift that dissolves personal consciousness into the eternal impersonal consciousness. ■The author is a neurosurgeon in Pune.

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