Square peg in a round hole

 Square peg in a round hole. 

Everyone is searching for that highly elusive abstraction called happiness. 

It is one of the most ill defined, intangible, variables that's perennially and seductively out of reach. The parameters of this hypothetical entity were largely  determined by social conditioning. This conditioning was in the form of templates, that got defined in childhood. What was often the existing norm, with statistical ratification got subconsciously registered as a template of happiness. As children, we were conditioned to set the parameters of happiness as being happily married, raising  a family, extended aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents. This paradigm formed the cornerstone of happiness, at least in the domain of personal life. There was rarely any incident, that caused one to have any doubts about this system. Differences, heated arguments, ego clashes, were far and few, or then tackled with a discrete restraint. The celluloid entertainment segment also showcased these virtues, with poetic justice delivered,culminating as 'And they lived  happily ever after". 

         The concept of happiness had the strength of concensus. The aberrant, anti social, rebellious kinds were castigated and divorces,extra marital affairs, were necessarily regarded as moral turpitude.

The individual never had the luxury of  non conformist autonomy. Any such non conformist acts were considered to be disrupting the fabric of social ethos and value systems.

      With globalization, a greater cross cultural intermixing, increasing affluence, gradually the individual started asserting his individuality. The social fabric lost its homogeneity, and it became a multi colored collage. Conformism was no longer relevant in a society that was heterogenous. The paradigms of happiness rapidly underwent a transformation. Durability was replaced by disposability. This applied to tissues as well as relationships. Value systems,ethics, morality were rendered archaic and anachronistic. Hedonism and indulgence became the new age mantra. 

 This resulted in a huge disparity in the definition of happiness. The individual became far more important and relevant in the scheme of things. 'Virtues of Selfishness' replaced the doctrine of selflessness. 

Happiness was no longer a generic phenomenon. It became a highly specific domain, that was sharp focused on the individual, with scant regard to any conformism. Happiness became more material, more consumptive. 

 In the present day and times, each one has to define his own happiness and referring to the earlier paradigms of happiness in today's date and time is truly like fitting a  square peg in a round hole.

It is best to keep today's happiness, independent of any person or place. The concept of happiness too has shifted from the outer world to the inner realm, where accountability, answerability is restricted to the self, and no longer falls in the jurisdiction of Society.

Dr. Deepak Ranade.