The Maverick and the Bourgeois.
It's been stressful. To be born and brought up in a very conformist, bourgeois environment and being judged and evaluated by the high priests of rectitude. Being free spirited and cavalier is a double edged attribute. It provides the gumption for living life at ones own terms, but inevitably elicits knotted eye brows, criticism and in extreme cases, being accused of heresy. I was in fact accused of moral turpitude, bordering on treason, attempting to overthrow the sovereignty of conformist ideology.
I was in all fairness, a rebel with a cause. The cause of living life in the moment. A life that never planned, strategised, manipulated or sought refuge in a herd. I never sought recourse in the security of numbers, nor in travelling the beaten path.
The present is always invaded by the scourge of anxieties and apprehensions of the future. It's also eternally depraved of acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. This depravity haunts the psyche relentlessly. It also kills the spontaneity of following the call of the heart. To do something merely because it gives the self an intrinsic joy, is considered heresy if it is not within the narrow bandwidth of conformism. A life spent in jostling to rise in the ranks of social hierarchy becomes a source of immeasurable stress. The realisation, that stratification is essentially horizontal and not vertical provides succour and solace. I am unique and different is all that I need to understand myself. I need not ever be judgemental about myself with reference to any other equally unique being. Projecting and then living upto that image which enhances and elevates in these kaleidoscopic hierarchal patterns, is truly facile, farcical and futile. The spectators, whose appreciation is solicited are themselves preoccupied in climbing their own respective ladders. They scarcely have the time or the inclination to cast even a cursory glance at what I am doing. Any achievement or accomplishment paradoxically makes the conformist audience even more insecure and envious. The hegemony of righteous behaviour corrodes the free spirit, and breeds mediocrity. The 'Now' asks no questions, demands no assurances, expects no security. The Now is an exaltation, a celebration of plain being. Life is not about playing to the gallery of the conformist Bourgeois class. Rather, it's about living it on ones own terms, with a casual disdain about approval ratings.
Maverick, Rebel, Upstart, Eccentric.............. after all, are mere nomenclatures. They are spectral distortions, perceived by the Bourgeois donning the conditioning glasses of conformism.
It's been stressful. To be born and brought up in a very conformist, bourgeois environment and being judged and evaluated by the high priests of rectitude. Being free spirited and cavalier is a double edged attribute. It provides the gumption for living life at ones own terms, but inevitably elicits knotted eye brows, criticism and in extreme cases, being accused of heresy. I was in fact accused of moral turpitude, bordering on treason, attempting to overthrow the sovereignty of conformist ideology.
I was in all fairness, a rebel with a cause. The cause of living life in the moment. A life that never planned, strategised, manipulated or sought refuge in a herd. I never sought recourse in the security of numbers, nor in travelling the beaten path.
The present is always invaded by the scourge of anxieties and apprehensions of the future. It's also eternally depraved of acceptance, appreciation and acknowledgement. This depravity haunts the psyche relentlessly. It also kills the spontaneity of following the call of the heart. To do something merely because it gives the self an intrinsic joy, is considered heresy if it is not within the narrow bandwidth of conformism. A life spent in jostling to rise in the ranks of social hierarchy becomes a source of immeasurable stress. The realisation, that stratification is essentially horizontal and not vertical provides succour and solace. I am unique and different is all that I need to understand myself. I need not ever be judgemental about myself with reference to any other equally unique being. Projecting and then living upto that image which enhances and elevates in these kaleidoscopic hierarchal patterns, is truly facile, farcical and futile. The spectators, whose appreciation is solicited are themselves preoccupied in climbing their own respective ladders. They scarcely have the time or the inclination to cast even a cursory glance at what I am doing. Any achievement or accomplishment paradoxically makes the conformist audience even more insecure and envious. The hegemony of righteous behaviour corrodes the free spirit, and breeds mediocrity. The 'Now' asks no questions, demands no assurances, expects no security. The Now is an exaltation, a celebration of plain being. Life is not about playing to the gallery of the conformist Bourgeois class. Rather, it's about living it on ones own terms, with a casual disdain about approval ratings.
Maverick, Rebel, Upstart, Eccentric.............. after all, are mere nomenclatures. They are spectral distortions, perceived by the Bourgeois donning the conditioning glasses of conformism.
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