The net.
The trapeze artistes were at it. Keeping the crowd spellbound with their death defying leaps and acrobats. The spectators were gaping open mouthed as they looked upwards. Stunned by the gravity defying acts. But they were oblivious to the net that was stretched much below the line of vision. It was stretched tautly to arrest any misjudgement. It was visible only from above as the gymnasts flung themselves from dizzying heights, to be caught by a colleague in the nick of the moment.
The net was totally self-effacing, and could hardly be called a participant in that spectacle of human stunts. But no matter how much it underplayed itself, it was crucial for the entire act to unfold.
The presence of that net merely eased the nerves rather than improve the skills. The visual cue of that net eased the grip of every performer , as letting go of the bar or a colleagues hand was as important as holding on tight in this acrobatic orchestra..
Many achievers in life very often steal the spotlight as they go about their lives making the onlookers stare in disbelief. Their confidence, devil may care attitude, risk taking ability, and tremendous gumption for life appears enviable. Very rarely is mention made of that invisible net that gave these achievers the liberty of taking off. A kind of security which initiated and propelled them towards their achievements. The uniqueness of that person or force is his unobtrusiveness and being virtually a non-participatory observer. Very often, involvement and concern in a dear one prompts interference or meddlesome behaviour. This concern at times becomes counter-productive as it can stifle and extinguish the spirit of exuberance.
Love and concern for a dear one often is like a tight rope walk. Something like the art of holding a serpent as revealed by a herpetologist. The grip should be loose enough so as not to frighten the animal and tight enough to prevent it from escaping. Anything less than or more than that optimum and you have lost the plot. Concern or love that restricts can never be conducive to growth. Very often, extreme form of love becomes an exercise of ownership or control. And getting the object of ones affection yield, resorting to a form of emotional blackmail is quite commonplace. Having a very magnanimous mind-set that releases rather than holds captive is what a true relationships are all about. As is oft quoted, -If you love someone, set him free.
An important aspect of nurturing involves letting go. Like the proverbial haemoglobin that carries oxygen. The selection of this complex molecule to transport oxygen to the tissues is not because it binds very strongly to oxygen, but more importantly, its ability to release oxygen at the opportune place and time.
The most genuine of relations are the ones that never need constant reaffirmation. They are ones that transcend dependence, and never beg reciprocity. They remain uncharacteristically somewhere in the background, and serve to stimulate and encourage silently. Bordering on selflessness. Till that day of reckoning when the trapeze artistes would perform without that net. That would be the defining moment and disappearing totally would be the nets only salvation.
Dr.Deepak M. Ranade
(The author is a consultant Neurosurgeon- depakranade@hotmail.com, blog-www,neuroconsciousness.blogspot.com)